Tidying up the inside pockets of my over-sized work bag, I came to realize that I have been so extravagant this past few days. Instead of the usual mess of napkins and extra ketchup sachets from quick-service restaurants, bus tickets and movie passes, most of the things I uncovered were receipts from my previous purchases: a leather shoes from Milanos, a pair of sneakers from People are People, a graphic tee from The Platform, superbass Harman earphones, Beautiful Accidents by Ian Casocot, and a vibrant striped shirt from Topman. These I didn’t buy all in a day but in a span of fourteen days, each of which time I needed some endorphin boost.
Not that my bank account savings have once again lost another digit. I was just alarmed knowing that I have been buying again out of impulse, thinking only of the now, then regretting about it later. On one hand, I have already quit from chain smoking. I smoke from time to time, mostly when I feel high and dry. But everything is under control. I no longer desire sex, or hookup like crazy the way I used to. When I see a hot guy around, all I need is to psych myself up that he’s a player, and my hormone levels get back to normal again.
Now what’s left for me to do is to stop overspending, so that I could double up my saving every 15th and 30th of the month, especially now that I am planning to move to a new house, which is gonna require me to pay an advance and deposit payment, and buy a few stuff for starting over.
The question is how? Is it even worth the trouble, knowing that the world is already going to end roughly seven months from now?